Worst Way to Get Laid Off

Other sites on the internet are calling this a great motivator.. Well sure, but only for half your employees
The rest are screwed.

Then a security officer announces: “Dear employees – with a melting heart I am making this announcement that for many of you it will be the last evacuation drill. Due to the recession we are laying off almost 50% of employees.

While moving back in, if your ID card does not work then you are among those laid off and all your belongings will be couriered to you tomorrow.

Found Here
If you followed that link, you had a pretty good read. it was somewhat humorous. that is only if you are not of the 2500 laid off.

Layoff Season

Well, it’s that time of year again. Company’s taxes are paid, business slows a bit, supplies are all new and caught up. No one has been hired in months. It’s getting very near to time for raises again. The company is at the point where they have to make choices. Do they evolve and grow? or should they keep the dead weight and dredge on? Big part of giving raises is showing the people who deserve the notoriety, how the company appreciates their efforts. Your boss really shows that he/she likes a person’s work by not removing them from the payroll.

If by chance your boss decides you do not fit the plan. read the How To Find A Job post I put up a couple days ago. and then Head over to the Job Search page and type in the job title and the name of your city. Watch the magic. I made it quite easy for you.

So what does this mean to you?

As cannibalistic as this may sound, do your math. the company saves how much money for removing or laying off a person? Calculate how many people  get fired or laid off . Estimate an average pay between the removed . Divide by the number of currently still employed. Subtract 20% from each pile you just created. That is the ideal amount to your raise. Why remove the 20%?  Well it is time to start saving money for the company to grow, until the next person is hired. All money saved now will account for the money spent on the replacement co-worker. Remember, they are now paying less people more money. Bringing in another person increases the amount of money spent to run the company. That person is needed. That person was needed when the last guy/gal got hired. She/He just was not efficient.

How do you prevent getting laid off?

Do your job. Pretty simple right? well actually it is. Just do what you do. Do not try and super flaming bright shine near the time of year you see the lay off season coming on. You have to build quarterly magnificent greatness, while still doing your typical normal duties. If you wait till the last second to do all that, you will look nervous and draw attention to yourself. One thing in life we all know, if you pay enough attention to something with skepticism, you will find something. And well preconceived negativity produces negative outcome. The quarterly idea, it gives you three months to be creative or to build to something crazy, wild, creative, innovative, most of all useful to the company. So if you have great idea of how to make things better, easier, funner, you have three months to come up with a way to implement it into your routine. You have three months to come up with a way to present it. You surely do not want to just get an idea and slap it out to the boss without thinking how to best present it. So get thinking.

How to Prevent Lay Off Anxiety

You know when it will happen. Just look back at last year when you got your raise. Think about a month before that date. There you go. Now that you know, you realize the people who are no longer on the backside of your cubicle making their best jokes or throwing paper over the wall (actually that guy never gets fired) are a product of  company growth. They aren’t sick, they aren’t on vacation. They are gone for good. Don’t let out a huge sigh. That would be foolish. You still have a month to go. There will be more people disappearing like the extras in a boring horror flick. You best bet;  Don’t dill around! Get to work. Stay working. Do not, the life of you , do not call in sick, do not come in late, I don’t care how bad you want that cup of coffee on your way to work, if that line is long, get out of it and get your butt to work. Turn your cell phone ringer off. Don’t pay your bills online. Don’t check your personal emails. Do not do anything that is not work related. Focus. If you lose focus, the day will be the longest day of  your life. Look deep into your work. Dig up that project you have been avoiding, or dig up that job that is crazy hard (probably same job). Get to that one. It will take all of your attention and be productive. It will give you challenge. You do not have growth without challenge. You can might just come into something cool that makes your easy jobs, even easier. When it is all said and done, for the life of you and your career, do not gloat. Even if you really did not like one of the people fired. The release of the anxiety will probably delude you, do not gloat.

Be happy you are employed.