I.T. work and delusional customer requests

Sometimes people make some wild requests and get mad at you when you try and be rational with them.

Weird request:
customer: Yeah I want a computer that is a computer but not a computer but not a tablet because I don’t like them and I have enough laptops.
Me: I believe I am capable of providing you with what you require can you give a bit more detail?
customer: Sure. I want a computer that is there but you don’t see it and it able to do everything I need.
Me: Sure we can hide your computer like in a closet or something. What types of duties will this computer do that you need done?
customer: Everything.
Me: that sounds like you are very busy. Let me pass this on to our builders and I will get back to you with a quote.

Never call them back.

Email request
customer: I want my email to synch with everything.
Me: Everything? like what?
customer: Everything. and I want everything on my website to synch with my cell phone
Me: well that would be quite stressful on your battery
customer: So you are saying you can’t do it?
Me: no not saying that at all. Can you give me a list of things on your website you want to synch with your phone? I can start an RSS feed for you right away
customer: you know, the office alarm, excell,photoshop. Things of that nature
Me: you have photoshop on your website? That is quite impressive. How big is your phone???

Website request
customer: I want Microsoft exchange type service but not Microsoft exchange because it is too costly
Me: well there are plenty of open source solutions that should be less costly. What features in particular are you looking for?
customer: All of them. I want my calendar to sync with my phone email and my contacts to sync with my phone contacts
Me: well you don’t want your phone and email contacts to sync because that would be a lot of names to weed through
customer: oh so you’re saying you can’t do it? XXX company could do it.
me: well that’s not what I said sure I’ll get started right away.
several days later
customer: Hey why are there so many contacts in my phone now?
Me:……….

Virus Hunter
Me: I’ve had to disable your email from the server end while I scan your computer and the server to find out why you keep sending out so many email
customer: That’s fine, I will just send emails from my phone
Me: Well no, your account is disabled.
customer: I never gave you access to my phone, so I can still use it right? There shouldn’t be a virus on it, it’s an iPhone and I only surf using Chrome.
Me: Well that sounds safe enough…..

Every issue ever
customer: This never happens, I’m careful.

Password Persuasion
(over the phone)
Customer: Hey I.T. IT!!! HEY IT!! What did you change my password to?
Me: PassWord1 P is capitalized W is capitalized.
Customer: ok hang on the phone while I check
Me: That’s your password. it has no choice but to work
Customer: p-a-s-s-w-o-r-d-1-P-W
Me: no….. Hang on… I’m on my way…..

Working in a Gas Station is Bad

As someone who worked in a few gas stations for a while. I have tons of gas station stories about funny events but this post is actually about why I did not like working in a gas station.

(Quick note) If you want to know how old you must be to work in a gas station, If the gas station sales beer or alcohol then you must be of legal age to sell them. You need to check with your local state officials. Do not try and get by with what you see on some random website like this one.

400 people in a day. Can you please 400 people a day with proper happy polite service? Every single day 6 days a week, all year around?

How many times can you deal with someone cutting in front of the line you have to just throw money at you, while you are trying to help the nice old lady at the counter who seems to be counting pennies?

How many times in a week can you hear “you have a bad attitude” when you haven’t done anything, and aren’t feeling any bad emotion?

How often can you rush to get all of the customers out of your store because you need to use the restroom only to get slammed with 6 people who can’t decide what scratch off lotto ticket they are wanting to buy?

People for some reason, like to sigh really heavy when they get to counter. As if to say “hey dude, I have had a rough day”, but what you will notice, is they all blow right in your face when they do that.
People will cough right in your face, full open mouth, non-covered cough in your face. If the store you work at is near a hospital, that can be pretty dang scary. Unless of course, you don’t notice that kind of stuff. Then maybe a gas station is perfect for you.

You have to restock that cooler at the end of your shift, and clean the bathrooms and empty the trash all around the store and parking lot. Beer soaked diapers. Many other bathroom things in the bathroom trash. and no. Not everyone can aim at the toilet. Standing or sitting. 1 or 2. Keep this in mind when you are being trained for the light stuff like working the cash register.

What about the times when you just can’t get everything together, like the register is on the boink, and you seem to be out of all of the rare cigarettes and that day is the day that everyone wants that rare brand of cigarettes meanwhile the lotto machine won’t work all the while your line is getting longer and your customers are all grumbling like they don’t see that your day sucks, they are just huffy about their 30 seconds being wasted because you aren’t good at what you doing? Even the nicest customers do this grumble.

Get hit back to back with kids trying to buy stuff that their I.D. won’t let them and they raise a fuss. and you have to remain calm. It’s just a kid, and it happens every day, multiple times. Meanwhile the state officials want to pull stings on YOU, not them. You know it would set a good example if a few kids could prove that cops don’t like kids buying beer.

Then to get a phone call from your store manager telling you that your store will be inspected tomorrow so you need to really bust your hump and scrub everything that they think your minimum wage is worth. So she can collect her 6 month bonus of $7000. $7000 that you will not see a penny of. Both of her 6 month bonuses are more than your yearly income. Meanwhile her salary is twice your yearly income.
She/he talks to you like you are a moron and like the world will fall apart because you can’t show up the next day. She tells you that she never goes to her kid’s events though she is off by 2 pm every single day, and yes she thinks she is a baby sitter of adult idiots. All the while she has no intelligent answer about anything. Remember this and test it for yourself, “Stupid people act angry so you won’t stump them with a simple question”. Now ask her about current events or what the difference is between kinetic energy and g-forces. Trust me she will not know and she will give you a rude answer. Play it off as you got asked this by your sister’s kid and got to wondering.

You need to get out of retail. A person working at the sewage plant  makes more than three times your wage. Three times your wage! And he has the weekend off. and he gets raises greater than 25 cents a year. Ever notice the lawn care crews have lots of money? They mow lawns. Not too complicated. You can do that. Grab a mower and do it for yourself. It’s easy. Janitors make more than you, You know whats even worse? They all get the weekend and holidays off, and you do not. More Truth about Working in a gas station. You will not have any full holiday off. When you are on vacation, expect someone to be sick and your vacation to be cut short and you will not get a thank you from the other person or the manager.

Please, for the sense of anything logical Get a better job, Do a job search, get the heck out of retail. Those people do not respect you. No matter how nice the Christmas card is you get every year (lol, you likely won’t see one). They do not respect you, they don’t want to know who or what you are, just have a heart beat , don’t steal, put money in the register and don’t be late.

(If you have anything you want to add, please comment below)

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What Destroys Your Company

What mistakes or issues or acts of nature cause your company to fail?

This of course is for small companies. Staff of less than 1000.

We can all point the finger at everyone in the world for the failure of your company. Unless your company got beamed up by aliens or anything of equal  uncontrollable event, the fault lays on the owner, for a poor decision, or hiring a poor decision maker or a poor defense against hostile companies.

A big mistake small companies make, is thinking they are  too big for their customers. Selecting customers or customer types that are too much hassle for ” The Big Move”. “The Big Move” is the move that many companies make to expand their  abilities and and income. You can not expand if you reduce. You just change your business model when you remove one field of your duties and implement a new duty. This method is a pass or fail method. Many company owners think of that method as just another gamble, and they have been gambling since the company was first conceived. They do not realize that during the time company is going through change; employees will be getting trained and trying to forget old methods, your company will not be taking in the income of the old way while you build rapport in the new way.It’s okay to take on new tasks. it’s okay to take on more profitable tasks. It’s okay to expand. be careful. Don’t drop the jobs that are “too piddly for you now”. Especially if you get a larger quantity of the small jobs but the income is equal or slightly lesser than the big jobs.

Another is dropping what has been attracting your customers. Things like advertisement or customer reliability. Let’s say you have this employee, when he goes out on a job site, he eats a bowl of green beans before he starts work. Every single time. One day you are talking to one of your customers and they mention the green bean thing, and laugh about it and let you know they think it is pretty reassuring that your employee makes sure they are eating well before they work. It would probably be in your best interest not to tell that employee that he or she is on the clock and should not be wasting time on the clock eating. you might actually want to request all of your employees eat a bowl of green beans on a job site and make sure everyone on the job site sees this event. You may even want to have a few sprinkle garlic or lemon juice in the bowl and see if that gets you a call with a laugh. Heck have a green bean barbecue and invite all of your customers. Until there is a complaint about something, don’t change it. Use that as your signature. Imagine if Coca~cola decided to only sell two liters of soda. Would you not decide to drink Pepsi products when you stop in a fuel station and grab yourself a single serving of soda? I know I would. And if the billing is right, I would probably get so used to Pepsi, I wouldn’t even consider Coca~cola. It would be foolish for Pepsi to say ” Well If they are doing it, we will do it. So don’t copy your competition. Out do your competition.

Provide a larger variety, provide a greater quality and provide a fair price. Don’t bump your price to match the competition. But you can lower the price to match.

Do not over spend on flash. Do not spoil your employees. Spoiling your employees is getting them a GPS system for local delivery of less than a 10 mile radius. Too much padding can lead to employees not knowing how to work in the instance that something breaks or goes wrong. Could you picture the look of a delivery company if the battery in two of the GPS devices are drained and everyone thinks they are too good to take out the battery and change it their self, so they higher a repair man to do it? That could get quite costly. It’s okay to work up morale in company wide gifts for achievements. This is fine. and this works. but make certain the employees know that this is like a trophy for accomplishment, and not a requirement of the position.

Your employees are not monkeys and they are not machines. They are not being punished by you for being hired by you. Any boss that says “time to lean is time to clean” is a poor member of management. To hire people just to fill a spot, is the mentality of “you are holier than thou” and the hired new employee is just meat and lesser than you because they work for you. Remember, they do not work for you. They work with you and you have agreed to split the income of your company with the employee for what they bring to your company. Of course that employee is not entitled to half, that is why you have an agreed amount. To think differently of your employees will lead you to having to train employees so often there will be no way to run at optimal level.

I really feel like I need a disclaimer with this.

None of this is set in stone for every company and every business. This may work for some, and cause problems for others. So it is in your best interest to consult with someone in your area that can make decisions for your company, rather than just something you read on the internet. Take this post as a reminder of morals and nothing more. Anything you do will be your responsibility. The writer of this post can not be held responsible for the failure of your company for taking any of this information in or adjusting your company to match this posts statements. This post is not a “do and don’t do” post. This post is meant for you to read after your company has gone under and you are trying to figure out what you did wrong or what other people think would have been better or worse. DO NOT DO ANYTHING THIS POST SAYS, JUST BECAUSE YOU READ IT HERE. These are incomplete ideas that are only useful if you know more about your company.