Just a day at the Office

My sinus is flipping out. so…
Walked to the drug store and back, on way back as I got near the entrance to the building, lady cuts across my path scurrying to finish her cigarette and put it i the ashtray. I hold my breath as I walk past because she is blowing puffs as she steps..

I get to the door, the lady sprints as if I am going to let this smelly woman walk in front of me. I do push it open really wide behind me. She has this confused look as if she is too weak and fearful to open a damn door by herself. I continue on my way. she turns left at the mailboxes but stops and watches me push the button on the elevator. She scurried to ride with me on the elevator.
GRRRRRR STINKY GO CHECK YOUR DAMN MAIL!!!

So she gets on the elevator . I am holding my breath. just 4 floors. I can still smell it anyway. She smelled like she was currently smoking in the elevator. So she must have put away quite a few of them in her 5 minute break.
but now she’s trying to start a conversation. I mean come on.. it’s just 20 seconds. what can we possibly talk about? let me hold my breath.

She exits at the third floor I slightly smile and wave. (actually I recently realized that smile looks insane so I try not to do it). I continue up to the fourth floor.
I exit the elevator, while 4 (ZOMG STRIPPER CHEERLEADERS) females (I assume are coming from the rehabilitation office that we share a floor with ) push past me into the elevator, then they all look at me with disgusted faces and one says out loud “Nasty, why do rednecks still do that?”

I was already mad.

I turned to her and said “To chase off the drug addict skanks”.

It’s the whole carelessness/cluelessness of the lady. Totally inconsiderate and expecting me to go out of my way to be kind to her?
That’s the big problem these days. Everyone expects someone else to “be the better man”.
Well.. screw that I’m not going to be the only “better man” there is.

Do you Play At Work?

Office Kitty
Office Kitty

Do you play around at work?
Do you get the shrieking fear that someone is looking over your shoulder while ou write an essay to your friend on Facebook about that night you can’t remember ?
Does it make you scared that you could lose your job and become unemployed because you had to spend time playing Farmville while at work ?
Was it worth it to add your boss to your Facebook account? can you no longer log into Facebook while at work because your boss is on your Facebook friends? That would clearly be your fault.
I myself suffer from this same Anxiety.
What is it about Reddit and Facebook that make us feel like we are willing to lose our careers over a stupid post? what makes us want to break away from being employed just so we can giggle at some silly cat picture? Are you reading this right now while at work?

How we Miss life trying to win at life

I was in a Dollar store earlier. and this big fat dude who had the look of an obese doctor with baby soft skin, breathing heavy when he talked, said to this other guy who looked like he was in construction, fit and toned with rough sun beat skin , the fat guy said and I quote,
“Work smart, not hard”.

Then he smiled and winked some weird grin of “ha?? you get it?? I passed on wonderful advice, sound advice. Worship me”.

I leaned in and looked at the man’s belly and said “with how you are breathing, you clearly misunderstand the word ‘smart’ “.

See the point here is that the guy who is out of shape, gets to enjoy nothing, except sitting on his butt all day. Sure he has more money than the guy who works construction. But his life is no match for the healthy skinnier guy.

I am sure the doctor is reading all of these book and studies on how to raise healthy children, but ten to one says his kids are obese also, and going to have health issues like heart problems and diabetes.

While the guy who works construction might not be able to pay for certain things like cool shoes cool clothes and cool cars, but why are those things important?

What’s important is food air and shelter. Everything else is how you decorate those items. Decorations change with trends, trends force you to make changes that earlier you wouldn’t have done

How long you live to experience your life, matters also.
What you do as experiences, matters also.

I would rather be a broke man climbing in a tree to see if I can see the skycrapers of my city, than a rich man in a wheelchair in Hawaii, simply because I’m too fat to walk.

See the part we are missing here, is for generations, humans worked for what they wanted. Working hard was a badge of honor. You worked hard every day, or you got nothing. That work, is what kept our ancestors strong. but now we decide to say “work smart not hard” and think getting a gym membership will solve everything.

Wrong. It’s a membership and at any time you can refuse to go. You can cancel your membership. Yeah there is a monetary penalty for canceling but you won’t care. It’s your money and your body.

So now you make more money than the guy in shape and you spend more money on getting in shape. Don’t forget, more time. Time is a matter here. Your kids never see you . Work – Gym – sleep. Occasionally take a vacation and sit somewhere getting pushed around in a wheel chair. Get massages and sit in a hot tub. 30 yards from the beach where poor people are surfing and having fun and enjoying life.

Now the real question is:

Why does the man with the laziest job get the most pay, while the man with the most active body using labor, get the least pay? Which one is doing the job that most people would rather not do ? Shouldn’t the job that no one wants to do, be worth more than the job that everyone wants to do ?

The reality of this is amazing. How our standards are skewed by our own desire to fit in.

HIRING Fire Sprinkler Sales and or designer Houston

HIRING Fire Sprinkler Sales and or designer Houston

 

HiTech Integrated Solution in Houston is hiring a fire sprinkler designer and a Fire Sprinkler Sales person
Bring your references and Fire Sprinkler Licenses with you.

If you have more than 5 years in Fire Sprinkler design and can sign your own drawings, you will be hired on the spot when you bring your license.

Same with fire sprinkler sales.

Fill out this Application for the Fire Sprinkler job. Be sure to tell them the web guy sent you.

 

Job Application Form

Work Place Pretty

pretty_at_work_only
pretty at work only

Elemental pretty. It’s that state of sexy that a woman becomes when she is the prettiest person with in a small throwing distance.

Back in 1998-1999 I worked for a Wal~Mart in Spring Texas. It was the worst time of my life. I mean the work was nothing, I just had sunk to the lowest in my life. I was working for some $9 an hour chump with a superiority complex, who worked for some $11 an hour woman who tried to push herself off as some executive queen. Meanwhile she was getting people raises that didn’t deserve them, and giving special attention to the two laziest, employees in the business. One of them was a fairly nice guy, the other was apparently hurt in some accident. He was cross eyed really bad, and would point with his index finger and pinky, pointing in separate directions. Not a good idea to ask him where things go. They were both dumb and worthless. They carried a walkie and could be found in the storage area at anytime (if not in the break room) Sitting somewhere telling stories to each other. The walky was for warnings when someone above the manager (who favored them) was walking into the building.

There was one girl that all of the Eminem bleach haired overnight suburban white gangsters had fallen in love with. She worked our electronics section of our Wal~Mart. I wasn’t particular entertained by much about her. She had a hairy face, and the blue contacts looked gray on her brown eyes, it was kind of dumb looking. But one day I decided I would give it a go. Maybe to show the “Pimps”  (all of the pale kids who wanted to sound more Gangsta) how a man entertains a woman.  as I walked up to her, I found myself thinking “WTF are you doing??? She works at wal~mart and is not attractive at all” and lost my nerve. I stood in front of her and said “um-uh”. So….. now she thinks she is so dang pretty, she made me crumble. She rolled her contacts and flipped her hair and walked away laughing. I stood there….. dumb. Lost for words. I didn’t want to be the lesser person and tell her why I was about to do what I failed at.

Now anyone who knows me, knows that I like computers. Electronics is where the computers are. In those days, I was making my $5.50 an hour and wishing I could save money for a video card for my lump of junk computer. The video card was on the top shelf in the back of the electronics department. I kept walking back there when no one was around, and would push the video card back behind other products, because… well.. one day I was going to have the extra $90 to buy it. I was always scared that wal~mart would stop carrying computer parts, since they seemed to never sell anything except cd cases from the computer area. So I would hide the video card.

Well a couple times I would come back out of there, and there she is. Me looking like I just did something sneaky, gave the sneaky vibe. To her, it was a creepy vibe. Well one day I decided I would offer an apology  and bring her a flower.  Well that wasn’t rational thinking. Rumors and an overblown ego, now she reported me to the manager. Crap!!!

I quit that job the next week.

I did buy that video card. It was junk.

Look. Don’t hit on the girl at work. If she isn’t hitting on you, don’t hit on her. She isn’t interested. If you throw an unwarranted flirt out to someone who is not interested, you are not going to have good results. On top of that, she is only pretty with in a small vicinity.  Find someone outside of the work place who is interested in you. I promise that the ugliest you can find outside of the work place, will be prettier than what you find with in the work place. Especially if it’s wal~mart.
Understand that being pretty only at work, is going to be ugly outside of work. You hit on her while you work, you are going to hate it when you get her alone away from work. When you change the element and she is no longer pretty, you are going to treat her that way (eventually) and that will make for a rough time when you do get back into the work environment.

So DON’T do it!

Tricks for Pizza Guys To Remember

There are many well known ways to increase your tips when delivering pizza. Most of them are kinda simple and well known, like;  don’t make the customer wait. Be polite. Say hello, say thank you. but there are other tricks to increase your tips when delivering pizza. Tricks that you do not learn unless you have experience, or if someone with experience tells you, and you actually listen to them.

Protip: Mondays work mornings for pizza delivery. Never work Fridays unless you pull a double. Work Wednesday and Thursday afternoons (everyone spends the last of previous check at that time)

Protip 2: Addresses ~ North and east typically evens – south and west odds. (special cases may/do apply). Talking about address numbers.

Protip 3: Turn radio down, leave car running with door cracked, or you will be replacing starters and door hinge pins like crazy. On that note, buy a beater. Do not drive a nice car. Your tips will nearly double. and that car is more disposable. Less likely to get robbed or stolen.

Protip 4: Work for a mom and pop pizza place. Their foods aren’t made in a factory full of budget cuts and no one assumes that you get a huge paycheck.

Protip 5: Morning shifts are the shifts that deliver to companies, and drop off multiple pizzas, your tips increase at the value of the order.

Protip 6: Work at a pizza place near an upscale area (new houses, large houses, office buildings). You do not want to work near apartments. Sure more people bunched in a complex, but you stand a better chance getting robbed, car stolen, and not tipped.

Protip 7: Did I mention that Fridays suck, unless you pulled a double? Don’t ever forget that.

Protip 8: Mark the spots you get good tips. So when you get to go back, bring them extra Parmesan and peppers and magnets and menus and napkins. Do it so that they eventually start requesting you. They will.

Protip 9: Avoid washing dishes until the end of your shift. or you will get grease,oil and cheese on your apron/smock/front of pants and that looks terrible.

Protip 10: Try to work week days in the opening hours. you will make more money and you will meet the same people.

Protip 11: Fill up your tank before work and wash the gasoline/petrol smell off your hands.
 

Main thing is to remember to always make your deliveries on time, don’t drive around with your radio blaring. People who live in the area, will remember your car. Especially if you are being a jerk. So drive right. Some people actually hate pizza guys and the way they drive. So drive right. If you have road rage, then park with your car out of view when you knock.
You are the next best thing to a living breathing cartoon to the kids so be cheerful in front of the parents, they have been hyping you up since they hung up the phone. You keep that going for them, you will be tipped graciously because you are now their vice against their kids when they screw up.

In the day time, you will find that you get more deliveries to women who are stay at home moms. Under no circumstances should you ever enter their houses. Just say ” I’m sorry but I am not allowed to enter your home”. You have no idea what is going through that lady’s mind. She’s been home all day long all by herself. People get weird when they are alone too long. Just give the pizza, and give the change and get out of there. Although, my good friend and I used have a saying when women asked us what we do for a living  “I am the guy women call when the husband is at work and their kids are in school”. We always worked day time and we averaged $125 a day in tips when other drivers made $25 in tips.

Whatever you do in Pizza delivery, enjoy your work and have lots of fun.
These tricks work and make you plenty of money. Try them for a month and see how things change for you.

That dang Coworker

We all have That dang Coworker that gets you upset about stuff that you can never explain.
I have that coworker. (I can’t type coworker without thinking Cow Orker… what the heck is an orker?)
You know y, that one coworker who just does not agree to work with anyone. If you bring to her, items that are her job she treats you like you are smacking her with a stick and telling her to work harder.

There is a lady in the shipping department here at our office. You have plans or OEM Manuals (instruction booklet with warranties)  that you have to send out to the customer or contractor, who might not be local to your region, you go to her and she ships the content for you. Simple right? Nope. She will say ” Can’t ! Come back when you have it right”. and you are left puzzled. You did all of your part. Why is she making it weird?. So you come back 5 times after you fixed something here and there that she probably doesn’t even realize is being done. and you say “WHY? WHY CAN’T YOU SHIP THIS?”. She replies ” I don’t have an envelope that fits those”. %^#$%^. You see a plethora of envelopes of all sizes around her. You grab (within her arm reach) the first one and stuff your items in it, put an address on the envelope and hand it to her she says “see, now was that so hard?”. @$%^$#%.

But she … She…. She is shipping and receiving, and you are manuals. Why are you now the package stuffer and libeler so she can just call the local shipping company and have them haul it off?

She wonders why her butt is so big.

Lazy, waste of desk space.

Worst Cubicle Ever

Maybe this isn’t, Maybe this is…. The worst cubicle ever
Here at the office we have many of  a different crowd of people. We have our country boy, we have our (possibly still part time) ex-stripper , we have our resident geeks, the musician, the mother of what seems like 20 babies, we have the girl who part times as a”representative” Actually she is the person who stands around in grocery stores advertising different snacks. and then…. and then we have this guy.

This is not the section of the building we store our unused items. Look at the prime location, corner of the room nearest the window. Here’s the size of our Office Space

So… This guy is a fricken rat. I mean he doesn’t stink up the office but he sure is a messy dude.
And yes that white bottle holds lotion in it.
Have you seen a cubicle worse than this? Maybe this isn’t what you would call the worst cubicle in the world, but to me it is the worst cubicle I have ever seen.
The boxes, are full junk, like thrown out tabs, the outer pages of spiral notebooks once the inner paper is removed. How does someone get to where their cubicle can be such a junk pile ?
Funny thing, no one goes into his office space just because they have no need to be near his cubicle. But me being the IT guy, I have to go there like twice a week.

His Garbage can is completely empty. My coworkers do not understand why I am amazed by this.

How To Increase Your Income

How to Increase your Salary
How to Increase your Salary

There are many ways to increase your income. There are many ways to try that are fruitless. but there are ways to increase your income by small or large increments. Any increase is good. Unless it involves more effort than value.

I have tried many ways to increase my income and found only a few that actually worked.

You can try many ways to increase your income, but you have to consider the level on investment you make into your quest for money and way it against the value of the growth.
You can not work for a year on a project and only make pennies a day. It would just not be worth your effort.

One thing I have found, is to have fun with it. If it isn’t fun, then it isn’t worth the effort.

What RNs are Sometimes Thinking…

Some things that make me laugh being a RN (no particular order, a list in progress):

Yes, it does look infected to me.  Go see your doctor.

No, I cannot get you any “good drugs” for your backache or your sore throat from my work.

I&D (incision and drainage) is not the same as sticking a straight pin in an infected sore and squeezing the “goop” out (even if the needle was “sterilized by burning it”).

Yes, that rash looks bad – no, I don’t want to feel it.  Go to a doctor.

No, I don’t recommend self-diagnosis by using WebMD.

It may surprise you, but not all nurses know each other, and thus, I do not know your cousin Sally who is a nurse in Tennessee.

You have 14 tattoos, but you are queasy at the idea of getting a shot in the arm?

I am a nurse, not a concierge service during your hospital stay.

No, I do not watch Grey’s Anatomy.

Did you know you are not the ONLY patient I have today?  If you aren’t seeing much of me today, be thankful your condition doesn’t warrant it.  The guy down the hall who lost 2 limbs, got 8 units of blood, and has an infection, also needs my care.    Please be patient.

Your birthing plan, though signed by your doctor, is more of a suggestion than a list of demands used to hold the entire L&D department at your mercy because you feel it is a doctor’s order.

Everyone on staff has a list of things to get done while on shift, none of which entails herding your children from our hallways.

That doctor is hard to work with because of religious differences: He thinks he’s God and I disagree.